Just Venting- Parenting Doesn't Come With An Instruction Manual

It seems not matter what product you buy, invest in, or bring home it comes with instructions. Most of us don't use them even when it comes to putting the product
together. We simply look at what the package shows as the picture,
listen to someone who has bought it, or have somewhat of an idea as what
it's supposed to look like and how it works.

Lately, I believe that's what we've done with our children as well. The majority of today's parents have no idea of how much time, commitment, and effort
they will have to put in to make their child complete, a productive
person in society. From conception and if their wise before they
conceive, there's a need to understand there is no manual that will
repair the damage of poor parenting. If your vehicle is faulty, a
mistake from the manufacturer, there's a recall. If any product is not
to your satisfaction after purchase, you can get a full refund or store
credit. This does not happen with your children.....they are yours.

As parents we've got to understand that the model you create is what's displayed to the world and later becomes a part of society. Society is
not obligated to look over their ill manners, lack of respect or lack of
desire to achieve. Today's youth just exist, few of them strive to do
better in school, are motivated to participate in anything that doesn't
involve a computer screen, and in great numbers a lot of them are
involved in criminal activity.

Parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual, but there are so many who have done a fantastic job. The grandparents, the teachers, the ministers, the mentors, the
people who wholeheartedly have come to you with their concerns. No one
wants to take over your position, no one wants to deny you the
opportunity to be "Mom" or "Dad", but understand there's more to it than
just giving the child what they want.

Children are manipulators and they are professionals at it. The baby that cries for no reason until you pick them up, the child that throws a tantrum until
they get what they want, the child who pits the teacher against the
parent or the father against the mother until they get what they
want.....all have one motive to satisfy their immediate needs. You as
parents have to think further than the immediate moment. Giving in to
their whims and bad behavior is not how society will reward them with.
Children that lack self control, demonstrate bad behavior, or simply
care less, do not become productive adults. As a parent we all want our
children to be self sufficient.

Today we have adults still living with their parents. They're not attending school, most are not working and they are abusing and using their parents, grandparents
or guardians. Families are fearful of their own offspring. Scared they
will "act out" they give in and reward them with whatever it takes to
keep them from disrupting the home.

Society rewards the child that "acts out" with harsh punishment. There is no time out, no standing in the corner, no giving in that will satisfy you as a parent.
No one wants to see their child uneducated, unemployed or serving time
in a penal institution. There are those who have leaned on the quote
"It takes a village....." Well those of us in the village are calling
out to the parents. GET IT TOGETHER.....their is no manual. IT"S NOT IN
A BOOK.....Dr. Spock and any of the other "professionals" don't have a
clue about today's children, the problems they face nor the problems
"the village" deals with when the parent has not done their job.

Your child can't go through their first five years without discipline. The computer and the television, or time in their room is no substitute for
you, the parent, their family or socializing with other children. Extra
activities are not day care centers so you can go and get your nails or
hair done, shop or simply have quiet time. You've got eighteen years
plus from the time of conception......it's just like a career. You
don't get a manual, you will only get the fringe benefits and the
pension if you put the time in. Parenting Does Not Come With An
Instruction Manual.

Nanette Buchanan

Copyright 2010